Women Corner >> PIOUS LADIES: Hazrat Aminah


There is not much information about Hazrat Aminah’s life, but there are some established facts about her that are recorded here.
Her full name is Aminah bint Wahb, daughter of Wahb ibn Abd Manaf. She belonged to the Zuhra clan of the Quraish tribe.
She was the mother of Rasulallah  and was married to Hazrat Abdullah ibn Abdul Muttalib, who was the father of Rasulallah .
Hazrat Abdullah passed away from an illness while on a caravan trip between Madinah Sharif and Makkah Sharif, at the age of twenty-five. At this time, Hazrat Aminah was pregnant with the blessed child and so Rasulallah  was an orphan before his blessed birth.
Hazrat Aminah passed away when Rasulallah  was six years old, the year 576 or 577 AD.
Records claim that she passed away during a trip to Madinah Sharif, on which she had taken Rasulallah  to meet his uncles and to see the grave of his father.
She was buried in Abwa, a village between Makkah and Madinah Sharif. The actual grave was rediscovered in 1998, and quickly destroyed by Wahhabis.
Some histories record light shining from her face during the blessed pregnancy, indicating the coming birth of the Holy Prophet .
Some histories also record the face of Hazrat Abdullah shining prior to consummating the marriage, indicating that he would be father to the Holy Prophet .
Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) visited the grave of his mother and he wept, and moved others around him to tears, and said: I sought permission from my Lord to beg forgiveness for her but it was not granted to me, and I sought permission to visit her grave and it was granted to motel So visit the graves, for that makes you mindful of death. [Sahih Muslim, #2129]
In Miskhaat, in the Chapter "Ziarat Quboor," it is stated that the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) sought permission from Almighty Allah to visit the grave of his mother, not to seek her forgiveness. We ask, in all honesty, that if she was a disbeliever, why was he even given permission to visit her grave when it is stated explicitly in the Holy Quran not to even visit the graves of disbelievers? The Holy Quran states: 

"Not stand by his grave (O Muhammad). Lo! They disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger, and they died while they were evil-doers."

The above verse is proof enough that she was not a disbeliever or else he would not have been given permission to even stand at her grave.

As to the question of forgiveness, he was not permitted to ask for their forgiveness because they were not sinners. A sinner or disbeliever is he upon whom a set of Divine Laws has reached and who intentionally violates it. A set of pure Divine Laws did not reach the parent's of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), yet they believed in One Allah. How then could they be termed as idolaters?

As to the question of him weeping, it was merely a burst of filial affection.

The Holy Quran states:

"We never punish until We have sent a Messenger."

The Pure Message or a Messenger never reached both of Rasoolullah's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) parents, so how could they be punished? Yes, without doubt, they believed in the Religion of Hazrat Ibrahim (alaihis salaam), that is, in One Allah. Yet, as history proves, the Divine Books at that time had been misinterpreted and tampered with by human beings. The criterion of being called a person of faith at that time was strictly to believe in One God, which the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) believed in. It would be unfair to, therefore, call them disbelievers.

As to the injunction:

"Nor yet for those who die while they are disbelievers."

or

"Those who die as disbelievers."

This verse was revealed for those who die as disbelievers. When both the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) did not die as disbelievers, how can one say that these verses refer to them?

Another point to remember is that if the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) were disbelievers, why were there names "Abdullah" and "Aaminah"? The meaning of "Abdullah" is "Slave of Allah" and "Aaminah" means "One with Faith." The similitude of those who vile and disrespect them is like those who vile and disrespect the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) by calling him "Muhammad", which means "Praised One." If we term them as disbelievers (Ma'azallah), it is the uniqueness of the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) to perfect their faith and save them from Hell. Addressing the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Almighty Allah states in the Holy Quran:

"And soon will thy Lord give you (that wherewith) you shall be well pleased."

Taking this verse into account, which dutiful and obedient son will be pleased at seeing his parents in Hell?

Ask yourselves the question: Will it please the Almighty Allah to see the parents of Hazrat Isa and Hazrat Moosa (alaihimus salaam) in Paradise and the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in Hell? Without doubt, during their life in this world they believed in One Allah and on the day of the Farewell Pilgrimage they were raised and made to recite the Kalima, thereby joining the folds of the Believers.

Once during a lecture, a Deobandi Molvi accused the people of exaggeration to the question of intercession by the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). He said that the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) could not even intercede or mediate on behalf of his own parents. A peasant, who was present in the gathering, stood up and asked the Molvi about the status of a Scholar and of a Hafez (one who memorizes the Quran) on the Day of Judgement. He relied that a Scholar will be able to intercede and mediate for seven generations of his family preceding him, while the Hafez will mediate for three generations. Hearing this reply, the peasant retorted that while an ordinary Scholar will be able to save seven generations from going to Hell, how was it possible for the greatest of Prophets, who was granted Intercession and upon whom the greatest Book was revealed, not to be able to save his own parents? Was this logical? Needless to say, the Molvi was speechless! 

It is a proven fact from the Holy Quran and Ahadith that the parents of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) - Sayyiduna Abdullah and Sayyidah Aamina (radi Allahu anhuma) - were always on Iman and left this world with Iman. Just as the cities of Makkah and Madina are the most exalted cities in the world due to being the birth place and place of demise of the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), likewise, the genealogy of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is the most exalted and pure chain in the Universe.All his forefathers, from his father, Sayyiduna Abdullah (radi Allahu anhu), to Sayyiduna Adam (alaihis salaam), were Mu'min, Muwaahids (believers in the Oneness of Allah), Aabids and Zaahids. None from amongst them were idol-worshippers or Faasiqs (sinners). Actually, the Noor of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) travelled from Sayyiduna Adam (alaihis salaam) to Sayyiduna Abdullah (radi Allahu anhu), in the family chain of those who always sincerely worshipped One Allah.

For those who say, Ma'az-Allah, that the parents of the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) were non-believers, they should think and ponder that if the parents of no other Prophet were non-believers, how then would the parents of the greatest of all Prophets be non-believers? In the era in which the Holy Prophet's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) parent's lived all that was required for Iman was to affirm the true belief in the Oneness of Almighty Allah. Neither did they commit Kufr nor was their Iman changed, so they cannot be regarded as sinners or Kaafirs. They remained true Mu'mins in life and when they passed away.

The great Ulama have proven the Iman and Islam of the parents of the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in three different ways:-

1. Both of them were on Deen-e-Haneef - following the teachings of Sayyiduna Ibrahim (alaihis salaam).In their time, they had not received direct invitation of previous Prophets to their Deen. They passed away with Iman, believing in One Allah before the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) announced his Prophethood.

2. Due to the Du'a of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Allah Ta'ala gave life to his parents who were buried in their graves and they brought Iman on him. After Hajjat-ul Widaa, he brought them back to life with the permission of Allah Ta'ala. By seeing him and bringing Iman on him, they became Sahaabi-e-Rasool (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). (Fatawa Razviah; Tafseer-e-Na'eemi)

3, The Holy Quran states: "There had come unto you a Messenger (one) of yourselves." In another reading the Fah (in Arabic) is pronounced with a Zabbar, which would mean that this most honourable Prophet has come from a most honourable group or society. Naturally, the idolaters cannot be termed as a honourable group, but on the contrary, as the most wicked. The above argument proves that the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and his entire genealogical trace were a most honourable group and believed in One Allah.

A Tradition extracted from Bukhari found in Miskhaat, under the Chapter "Fazaa'il Syedul Mursaleen," contains the following words of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam): "I have been sent from the best group of the children of Adam, from one group to the next, till I am in that group which I am." This Hadith substantiates that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has been carried along the best and most noble group. The revolution of his light (Noor) has always remained within clean and pure wombs. Whose womb can be considered as clean and pure, but that of a true Believer in One Almighty Allah!

In Miskhaat, in the Chapter "Ziarat Quboor," it is stated that the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) sought permission from Allah Ta'ala to visit the grave of his mother, not to seek her forgiveness. We ask, in all honesty, that if she was a disbeliever, why was he even given permission to visit her grave when it is stated explicitly in the Holy Quran not to even visit the graves of disbelievers? This proves that she was not a disbeliever or else he would not have been given permission to even stand at her grave. As to the question of forgiveness, he was not permitted to ask for their forgiveness because they were not sinners. A sinner or disbeliever is he upon whom a set of Divine Laws has reached and who intentionally violates it. A set of pure Divine Laws did not reach the parent's of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), yet they believed in One Allah. How then could they be termed as idolaters?

Before the arrival of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) his mother also witnessed strange things during her pregnancy as well as the time of his birth. During her pregnancy, in every month a different Prophet used to appear to her in her dream describing to her of the wonderful and glorious attributes of her expected child, the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). Once, the midwife, Bibi Halima (radi Allahu anha), in a state of apprehension, described to Bibi Aaminah (radi Allahu anha) the splitting of her son's chest. Bibi Aaminah (radi Allahu anha) replied that she should not be afraid as her son was the true and Last Prophet and that the Shaitaan would not be able to harm him in any way. So how is it possible to refer to her as a disbeliever after she had witnessed all the strange happenings and wonderful experiences? It is emphatically impossible

The Holy Quran states: "We never punish until We have sent a Messenger." The Pure Message or a Messenger never reached both of Rasoolullah's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) parents, so how could they be punished? Yes, without doubt, they believed in the Religion of Sayyiduna Ibrahim (alaihis salaam), that is, in One Allah. Yet, as history proves, the Divine Books at that time had been misinterpreted and tampered with by human beings. The criterion of being called a person of faith at that time was strictly to believe in One God, which the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) believed in. It would be unfair to, therefore, call them disbelievers.

Sheikh Muhaddith Dehlwi (radi Allahu anhu) said that the parents of all Prophets were never disbelievers.

At the time of the construction of the Holy Kaaba, Sayyiduna Ibrahim (alaihis salaam) prayed to Allah Ta'ala. The Holy Quran confirms: "And raise up in their midst a Messenger from among them." The Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) being raised from among the Muslim group is a fulfilment of Sayyiduna Ibrahim's (alaihis salaam) supplication.

With regards to the question of raising the dead, it is not an impossibility. This fact has been clearly proven by Sayyiduna Isa, Sayyiduna Moosa and Sayyiduna Hazkeel (alaihimus salaam). It has been reported in the Ahadith that close to Qiyamah, even the Kaafir Dajjal will be able to raise the dead. It has been reported that the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) also raised the dead as was in the case of Sayyiduna Jaber's (radi Allahu anhu) children and the entire group. (Qurtabi, Madaarijun Nabuwat, Shaami)

The concept of accepting faith after death is not an impossibility. The Ahadith have proven that the Ashaab-e-Kaaf will be raised from their graves and will join the forces of Imam Mehdi. They will even perform the Holy Pilgrimage.
Another point to remember is that if the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) were disbelievers, why were there names "Abdullah" and "Aaminah"? The meaning of "Abdullah" is "Slave of Allah" and "Aaminah" means "One with Faith."

Addressing the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Almighty Allah states in the Holy Quran: "And soon will thy Lord give you (that wherewith) you shall be well pleased." Taking this verse into account, which dutiful and obedient son will be pleased at seeing his parents in Hell? Ask yourselves the question: Will it please the Almighty Allah to see the parents of Sayyiduna Isa and Sayyiduna Moosa (alaihimus salaam) in Paradise and the parents of Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in Hell? Without doubt, during their life in this world they believed in One Allah and on the day of the Farewell Pilgrimage they were raised and made to recite the Kalima, thereby joining the folds of the Believers.

For those who say, Ma'az-Allah, that the parents of the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) were non-believers, they should think and ponder that if the parents of no other Prophet were non-believers, how then would the parents of the greatest of all Prophets be non-Believers?

Women Corner >> Women After Marriage - Part 2


Her Duties towards the Husband
The Holy Quran says: "Men are incharge over women, because Allah has made one of them excel over another, and because men have expended their wealth over them, so the virtuous women are submissive, they keep watch in the absence of husband as Allah commanded to watch. And as to those women whose disobedience you fear, then admonish them and sleep apart from them, and beat them (lightly), then if they come under your command, then seek not any way of excess against them. Undoubtedly, Allah is Exalted, Great.)" (4: 34)
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, a woman has been placed one degree below the husband in the matter of administering the affairs of the family. The Quran says: "And the women have rights similar to those over them according to law, and men have superiority over them and Allah is Dominant, Wise." (2:228)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran says: "And perform marriage of those among you who have not been married and of your suitable servants and hand maids. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is Ample Knowing." (24: 32)
Compare this with the following verdicts of the exponents of modern scientific thought on this problem.


It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Quranic teaching, the husband and the wife stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the ruled. The Quran enjoins upon men: "They are your garments and you are their garments. " (2:187)
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Quran has not chosen her to function as the head of the family, because owing to his masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the husband is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family in general. The Holy Quran refers to these functions of the husband when, speaking of his role for the wife. It says: "Men are incharge over women, because Allah has made one of them excel over another, and because men have expended their wealth over them, so the virtuous women are submissive, they keep watch in the absence of husband as Allah commanded to watch. And as to those women whose disobedience you fear, then admonish them and sleep apart from them, and beat them (lightly), then if they come under your command, then seek not any way of excess against them. Undoubtedly, Allah is Exalted, Great." (4: 34)
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife, according to the Quranic Law: "And those who obeyed the command of their Lord and established prayer and their affairs are decided by mutual consultation and they spend something out of Our provision in Our way." (42: 38)
As a follower of the Quran, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may differ irreconcilably with the wife. But, then too, he cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy of the Holy Quran, which commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.
The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a source of strength and a blessing.
Every woman must obey the legitimate commands of her husband. Appeasement of husband is a great virtue while the displeasure of the husband carries heavy prosecution. The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "If I were to command humans to prostrate before anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded the women to bow down before their husbands."
The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "If a woman dies in a state that her husband is happy with her, she would enter the Paradise".
The Glorious Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "When the husband calls his wife for some work, she should immediately attend his call even if she may be sitting by the side of her hearth (for cooking)". The Hadith means that the wife should give top priority to attend to her husband.
Another Hadith says: "If a husband says to his wife to transform a yellow mountain into a black one or turn a black mountain into a white one, she should obey his orders". The Hadith means that the woman should try to perform the hardest of the hard job assigned by her husband.
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Allah's Angels curse the woman throughout the night whose husband calls her to bed but she refuses and the husband goes to sleep in anger".
Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual cooperation, love and compassion. The Holy Quran says: "And of His signs is that He created for you from among yourselves couple that you may find repose in them and He put love and mercy between you. No doubt, in it are signs for a people who ponder." (30: 21)
It means that: -
  1. marriage is essentially a spiritual bond of union, rather than a mere physical relationship;
  2. marriage should be contracted with the firm resolve of maintaining the relation for life;
  3. Monogamy should be ideal, because that is the ideal condition in which mutual cooperation, the common man can practice harmony and love normally and smoothly.
Polygamy
The Holy Quran has permitted polygamy on humanitarian grounds, under exceptional circumstances, and with severe restrictive conditions. The only Quranic verse which contains the permission for polygamous marriage, says: "And if you apprehend that you will not be able to do justice to orphan girls, then marry such other women as seem good to you, two, three, four, but if you are afraid that you will not be able to keep two wives on equal terms, then marry one only or captives whom you own. This is nearer to keeping you away from doing injustice." (4: 3)

Important points, worthy of being carefully noted are:
  1. This verse doe not enjoin polygamy, but only permits it.
  2. Unrestricted polygamy, which had been rampant among the pre-Quranic Arabs and many other nations of the world, has been restricted to the maximum four. Fixing the maximum at four seems to be based on the natural law relating to monthly courses, whereby the husband can do justice in respect of conjugal relations even if he has the maximum of four wives.
  3. The permission relates to situations of emergency, and not to normal conditions of life and society. This verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud, which gave rise to a situation of emergency. Appreciable numbers of Muslim men were killed in the battle, leaving behind orphans and widows, and giving rise to many adult females. Also, there were some women captives of war. Polygamy was prescribed for those who were Allah-fearing and whose sole mission in life was spiritual refinement and pursuit of Divine Pleasure. Notice the conditional clause about orphans, introducing the rules about marriage. This reminds us of the immediate occasion of the promulgation of this verse. It was after the Battle of Uhud, when the Muslim community was left with many orphans and widows, and some captives of war. Their treatment was to be governed by principles of the greatest humanity and equality. The occasion is past, but the principles remain. Marry the orphan if you are quite sure that you will in that way protect their interests and their property, with perfect justice to them and to your own dependents, if you have any. If not, make other arrangements for the orphans.
  4. The permission is based, not on considerations of lust, nor on any benefit accruing to the marrying male, but on the principle of sacrifice - of providing protection and support to orphans, while undergoing a severe tension of dealing with all the wives.
  5. The permission is conditioned by one's ability to deal equitably with his wives, which even at the formal level is an extremely difficult condition to fulfill except for those who are thoroughly disciplined, stick to spiritual and moral values above everything else, and enter into marriage for spiritual considerations - for the sake of obtaining Divine Pleasure.
  6. Thus, this verse, instead of inducing the men to practice polygamy, recommends to them monogamy.
  7. Finally, looking at the Quranic permission for polygamy with an unbiased mind, every rational person is bound to be convinced that in situations of emergency, namely, whenever there is an abundance of females - as it happens after the wars - and whenever there is the problem of the uncared for and unsolicited widows and orphans, it becomes a moral duty of Allah-fearing people to practice polygamy, whereby alone the individuals can be saved from disaster and the community can escape the horrors of prostitution.
Temporary conjugal relations are prompted purely by lust, and in no case for establishing that sublime spiritual relation between man and woman, which alone can form the basis of building up the family. Therefore, the Holy Quran disallows temporary and compassionate marriages. It says: "And forbidden to you are the women having husbands save the women of infidels who come in your possession. This is the prescription of Allah unto you and the remaining besides those are lawful for you; so that you seek them in exchange of your properties bringing them in bondage (through marriage) and not desiring for lust. Therefore, as to those women whom you wish to marry, give them their fixed dowries. And there is no sin in what you mutually agree! Upon after fixation. Undoubtedly, Allah is Knowing, Wise." (4: 24)
The wife has several duties towards her husband. Following are some very important duties:
  1. The wife should not go out of the house without the permission of her husband. She should seek prior permission of her husband to visit her relatives and friends.
  2. It obligatory on her part to safeguard her husband's house and other properties in his absence. She should not allow anybody to enter the house without her husband's permission. She should not give her husband's minor or major belongings to anybody without his permission.
  3. She should not indulge in any activity that her husband may dislike.
  4. She should look after his children carefully.
  5. She should keep herself and her house clean. She should decorate herself with ornaments and suitable make-up to attract the attention of her husband and to win over his love and affection. A Hadith says: "Best is that woman who comforts her husband by her good looks and loving gestures and fulfills the pledge of her husband and plays the role of a guardian and a well-wisher in safeguarding her chastity and the belongings of her husband in his absence."
How to live happily with the husband
Remember, the relationship between a husband and his wife is a very strong and life long association. The affinity and understanding between the two is the greatest grace of the Almighty Allah. Once this understanding gets disturbed, the life on both the sides gets spoiled.
The domestic quarrels between husband and wife have become very common these days. Several Muslim houses are burning in this fire. The difference of opinion between wife and husband reaches a stage when both of them pray for death. It is very easy to eliminate this difference of opinion and a state of civil war within the household.
Here are some ways to establish permanent peace on the home front:
  1. Every wife should try to appease her husband day and night. This would satisfy his ego and he would feel that there is someone in the house that cares for him. A husband likes a wife who obeys his orders without arguments and without asking why and how. If the husband asks her to massage him throughout the night, she should bear that much pain and patiently obey his command. This little trouble would bring to her immense love from her husband.
  2. Every wife should understand the temperament of her husband. She should know the likes and dislikes of her husband. By living with him for years together she may excel in knowing what makes him happy and what annoys him. She should master in her husband's habits and tastes.
  3. It is obligatory on the part of the wife never to fight with her husband. She should not pass sarcastic comments to him nor should she criticize him bitterly. She should not give him a sharp and rigid reply nor should she pass any left-handed comment. She should also not find out defects in things brought by him nor should she describe his house and other property as useless and base. She should not pass adverse comments about the parents of her husband as this may lead to unnecessary arguments and will ultimately end in hatred towards each other. This hatred gradually aggravates to the extent of separation. The wife will leave her husband's house and go to her parent's house where her brother's wife and unmarried sisters may make her life miserable by taunting at her. This may lead to a bigger fight between the family of the woman and the family of man. The matter ultimately goes to the Court and drags for years together.
  4. The wife should not ask her husband to give her money beyond his capacity. Whatever her husband gives her for running the house; she should accept it smilingly and run the household within the budget. Let the husband himself ask her what she would like him to bring for her. And when the husband brings something for her, she should appreciate it and express happiness in accepting the gift.
  5. The wife should never pass comments on the looks and physique of her husband nor should she ever be ungrateful to him. She should not complain: "I have never been happy in your house. Oh Allah! My whole life spent out in sorrows and hardships. What I saw after coming to this ruined house. My parents have thrown me into this hell. They married me to a pauper and unlucky man like you." This sort of groaning will make the husband disappointed and disgusted. This frustration gradually will lead to constant fights and face-to-face confrontation and finally to the divorce. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "I saw plenty of women in the Hell". The Companions asked: "How come, O Allah's Apostle (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam)" He said: "For two reasons: First, the women indulge much in taunting and criticizing others. Secondly, the husbands may be treating them well for years but once they experience something less than their expectations they would say: "We have never seen any good from you."
  6. The wife should show utmost restraint and respect in front of her husband. Whenever the husband returns home, she should welcome him leaving all the work aside. She should arrange for his comforts. She should not talk to him in a way that may annoy or confuse him. If the husband gets annoyed with the wife over some issue, she should keep silence and should not utter anything that may aggravate his anger.
  7. If the husband gets annoyed over some of her mistake and rebukes her, she should not feel it bad. She should unconditionally beg his pardon and bring him back to his good mood by persuasive methods. If the husband rebukes her without any fault, she should not repay him in the same coin. This would be her greatness to make her husband happy.
  8. The wife should not ask her husband the account of his debit and credit. The husband gets irritated over this accountability and this irritation leads to conflicts. Similarly, the wife should not investigate her husband's whereabouts and engagements nor should she express any doubt on the character of her husband, as it would disturb the mutual trust.
  9. As long as her husband's parents are alive, she should obey them and attend their requirements. The husband is their son and if they incite him against the wife, he will be annoyed at her that will ultimately result in deterioration of relations. Similarly, she should treat her husband's brothers and sisters nicely. She should never try to divide the family. She should never insist on her separate household. However, if the parents of her husband themselves decide to live separately; she should welcome their idea happily. But after this separation she should always visit her in-laws and find out their difficulties and help them promptly.
  10. If the wife faces any hardship in her husband's house, she should never narrate it to her parents and relatives. This creates tension between the two families.
  11. The wife should concentrate more on her looks - her clothes and personal hygiene. She should take into account her husband's likes and dislikes. She should occasionally apply Mehndi (Henna) in her hands and feet. She should not keep her hair shattered and disturbed. A little carelessness with regard to the physical fitness may compel the husband to go to other women who make special arrangements to look good to the husbands of careless women.
  12. The wife should take food last of all in her husband's house. She should arrange food for her husband, his parents, his brothers and sisters. She should always play a hostess at the dining table.
  13. The wife should not develop a habit of admiring her parents and other relatives in her husband's house. This would create an impression in the minds of her in-laws that she is lowering their status.
  14. The wife should not spy upon her in-laws. She should not try to listen secretly to the conversation of other women in her husband's house. It is very foolish of her to presume that they might be talking bad about her.
  15. The wife should share housework with the mother-in-law and the sisters-in-law/s. This would create a feeling of helpfulness in the hearts of the women in her husband's house. The women folk will start liking her and cooperate with her in all matters. She should attend to her ailing mother-in-law or other sick members in her husband's house, as this would give her a dignified status in that house.
  16. If the husband is poor and has no capacity to employ a maid-servant, the wife should not make any complaint of doing the work herself. Many tradition of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) reported in Bukhari indicate that the beloved daughter of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), Sayyidah Faatima az-Zahra (radi Allahu anha) personally attend to the domestic affairs of her home. She went to the community well herself, filled up the container with water and carried it on her back to her home. She used to grind the flour at home and due to this rugged exercise, her palms got wounded. Similarly, Sayyidah Asma (radi Allahu anha), the daughter of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr Siddique (radi Allahu anhu) did the entire domestic work alone in the house of her husband Sayyiduna Zubair (radi Allahu anhu). She brought date seeds from distant orchards to feed the camels and massage the horses.
  17. The wife should keep a balance between the income of her husband and the expenditure of the house. If the husband is very poor, she should not insist upon him to bring items of luxury. She should be content with whatever is available within the limited resources.
  18. The wife should not demonstrate any obstinacy and stubbornness in her husband's house. This is a general habit of women that they get furious very soon. Their parents may bear this fury but the in-laws will not bear this. The stubbornness of a woman in her husband's house becomes an issue of great criticism. Her obstinacy earns her a very bad name.
  19. The house of the husband is a new place for every woman. She comes across with so many strange faces with different habits and behaviors. There is a possibility of difference of opinion and a clash of interests between the two parties. But the wife should keep patience and be kind to the mother-in-law and other members of her husband's house. One day or the other, the family of her husband itself will feel ashamed of their rude behavior and extend a hand of friendship and cooperation towards the new comer.
  20. The wife should live in her husband's house with discipline. She should neither talk too much nor too less. She should talk sense. Her diction and intonation should be soft, clear and sublime. Her speech should not hurt any body. 

Women Corner >> Women After Marriage - Part 3


Duties Towards Parents After Marriage
There are various incidents in our society when the husband refuses to allow his wife to visit her parents. What right does a man think he has over his wife's feelings and duties to stop her from seeing her parents. Does he, by chance, think that by marrying her he has come to own her. Does he put her in the same category or the same relationship to a goat he buys. If so, he is certainly mistaken. From the Islamic point of view, the relationship between a man and his wife is one between two human beings of equal status. Each of them has certain duties, but neither of them can negate the independent personality of the other.
It is simply unacceptable from the Islamic point of view that a husband should consider that the marriage divides his wife's life into two separate stages and that each stage is completely isolated from the other. If he tries to impose this situation, then he will have a wife who is disillusioned, broken-hearted and totally lacking in the ability to impart to her children the proper values of kindness to family relations and dutifulness to parents. How could she, when she herself is denied the right to maintain her relationship with her parents.
The fact is that dutifulness to parents is a duty imposed by Allah on all children, boys and girls, men and women, single or married. This dutifulness does not stop at any particular stage in anyone's existence. It extends throughout the parents, and the children's lives. Being dutiful to one's parents is not considered to have been completed when they die. Their children are required to continue to show dutifulness to them by showing respect and kind treatment to their friends and relatives, supplicating on their behalf, praying to Allah to have mercy on them, reciting the Holy Quraan and giving Sadaqah or charitable donations on their behalf, etc. When parents have such a claim against their children, how is it possible that a husband prevents his wife from visiting her parents.
If he does, then he is certainly unjust to her, unless he has a very good reason for his action that can only be imagined in isolated cases. A man should consider what his feelings would be like if her unreasonable husband prevented his sister from seeing their parents. He should extend to his wife the same treatment he would like to see extended to his dearest sister.
If an elderly couple has only daughters and they all are married, and the couple needs to be looked after, then their daughters should try their best to look after them. Islam does not accept that such elderly parents should be abandoned simply because their daughters are married.
If a husband threatens his wife with divorce for visiting her parents, he is unjust to her and to them. Injustice is forbidden in Islam. Almighty Allah says in a Qudsi Hadith: "My servants, I have forbidden injustice and have made injustice forbidden to you. Do not be unjust to one another."
Nor is it permissible for a Muslim to obey anyone encouraging him to be unjust to his wife, not even his parents. If your parents insist that you treat your wife harshly or unjustly, you should realize that injustice represents disobedience to Almighty Allah. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) says: "No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator."
The Best Wife
The best wife is she,
  1. Who considers attending her husband as her foremost duty.
  2. Who never leaves any requirement of her husband unfulfilled.
  3. Who appreciates the merits of her husband and neglects his demerits.
  4. Who takes pains in comforting her husband.
  5. Who does not put any demand before her husband that is beyond his capacity and leads a life of contentment.
  6. Who never looks at strange and unknown men nor allows them to look at her.
  7. Who lives in Pardah and keeps her chastity safe.
  8. Who safeguards the wealth, the property and other belongings of her husband including herself.
  9. Who proves her dedication to her husband by sacrificing everything to salvage her husband from any calamity.
  10. Who keeps patience over the atrocities inflicted to her by her husband.
  11. Who is looked upon respectfully both in her father's house and in her husband's house.
  12. Who is humble and kind to the neighbors and whose humility everyone appreciates.
  13. Who carries out her religious duties with punctuality and fulfills the rights of the Creator and creatures.
  14. Who tolerates with cool mind the bitterness of the members of her husband's family.
  15. Who first feeds the other members of the house and eats herself in the last.
Conflict with mother-in-law
This is one of the darkest chapters in human history. The conflict between mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has been a centuries old tradition. Almost every house faces this crisis. How surprising is the matter that the mother brings up her son with utmost care and love. She longs for her son to grow up soon and when the son reaches his youth, she as the mother sets out to choose a suitable bride for her son. In the process of matchmaking she insists on the most beautiful girls of the world to be her daughter-in-law.
But when that most beautiful girl leaves her father's house and enters her new house, the mother of her husband suddenly appears as an avowed enemy. The reason of this conflict is purely a psychological one. The mother, who has been reigning over this house for the last so many years, suddenly finds that a new woman has come to share not only the monopolistic authority of this house but also the love and affection of her son. The newcomer woman not only diverts the attention of her father-in- law but also the attention of other male members of the house. The son also gets more involved in her newly-wed lady than his mother. He does not call her mother for attending his requirements. The father-in-law also gets immense pleasure to call his daughter-in-law for his needs. This becomes unbearable for the old lady and she develops a feeling of jealousy against the new comer. Gradually, this feeling takes the shape of severe hatred. The newcomer lady is quite young and enthusiastic in her approach to life. She wants to bring about some innovation in the old style of the house. The mother cannot tolerate this as she thinks that the house still belongs to her. She is not prepared for being neglected by the members of the family. Thus, starts a cold war between the old lady and the new lady. Slowly and quite unknowingly the entire house gets involved in this conflict.
The only way to end this conflict is that all the parties of this conflict - the mother, her son and the daughter-in-law should appreciate their respective rights and duties.
How the Mother-in Law should behave
Every mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter. If the daughter-in-law, due to her inexperience, commits a mistake, she should not be rebuked or admonished. Rather, the mother-in-law should gently teach her the correct way of doing things. The old mistress of the house should always bear in mind that this new lady has come to this house by leaving her parents and relatives and friends. She is facing a new environment here with so many strange faces around. The old lady should come forward and become a useful companion of the new comer. She should accept the wife of her son as her own daughter. Once this relationship develops between the two ladies, the house will surely turn into a heaven on earth.
How the Daughter-in-Law should behave
Every daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as her own mother. She should pay due respect to her, obey her commands and attend to her needs. If the old mistress of the house rebukes her on some matters, she should not answer back. Similarly, she should treat her father-in-law as her own father and look after his requirements. During the lifetime of her husband's parents, she should never think of dividing the family by raising the demand of a separate house for herself and her husband. She should be kind to other ladies in her husband's family such as the wives of her husband's elder and younger brothers. She should be friendly with the sisters of her husband.
How the son should behave
The son should treat his bride with love and kindness. But at the same time, he should not neglect his parents. He should show the same vigor in loving his parents as was before his marriage. He should not make his mother feel that her authority has been minimized following the arrival of a new lady member. He should carry out all transactions through his mother. He should also instruct his bride not to undertake any work without the permission of his parents. This would give the mother a confidence that she is still the mistress of the house and both the son and the daughter-in-law have allegiance to her authority. و صلی الله تعالٰی علٰی سیدناو مولانا محمد و اله و صحبه اجمعین امین و الحمد لله رب العٰلمین

Women Corner >> Women After Islam


Islam brought a new lease of life to women. Islam elevated the status of women to great heights: so high that she stood shoulder to shoulder with man. Like men, their rights were also well defined and Islamic Courts supported them to achieve these rights. Islam granted women the right to ownership. They now owned the amount of their Mehr. They could engage in trade and have their own properties. They were also given the right to inherit the property of the deceased father and husband.
With the advent of Islam came the verse from the Quran condemning those who practiced female infanticide: And when the good tiding of the birth of a daughter is conveyed to any of them, then his face remains black all along the day, and he suppresses his anger. He hides himself from the people, because of the evil of this good tiding. Shall he keep it with disgrace or bury it in the dust? Lo! very bad, they judge. (16:58-59)
The Holy Quran makes no distinction between man and woman as regards to the fundamental human rights. Here we may specifically state that: Woman, like man, is the possessor of free personality, and enjoys equality with man, in respect of:
Her spiritual and moral status: The Quran says: "And covet not that whereby Allah has made one of you excel over the other. For men there is share from their earning, and for women there is share from their earning. And ask Allah for His Grace. Undoubtedly, Allah knows every thing." (4:32)
Her economic rights: The Quran says: "For men there is share in what their parents and relatives have left behind, and for women there is share in what their parents and relatives have left behind, be the bequest little or be it much, it is a share estimated, determined." (4:7)
Her legal rights: The Quran says: "And divorced women should keep their souls away till three menstruations, and it is not lawful to them that they conceal what Allah has created in their wombs. If they have faith in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the right to take them back during that period provided they will to rejoin. And the women have rights similar to those over them according to law, and men have superiority over them and Allah is Dominant, Wise.(2:228)
Islam ensured a dignified life to the fair sex, which was hitherto treated in an unfair manner. Woman became the mistress of the household. Man was not allowed to beat or manhandle them nor deprive them of their share in the property. The Holy Quran declared: "And mothers should suckle their children for complete two years, for him who intends to complete the period of suckling, and to whom the child belongs, on him there is feeding and clothing of the women according to convention. No soul shall be burdened but within his capacity, the mother should not be made to suffer because of her child and nor father because of his child or (the mother should not make the child to suffer, and nor father to his child, and the same is incumbent on the father's heir. Then if the mother and father both try to wean by mutual consent and consultation, there is no sin on them; and if you wish that your children should be suckled by nurses, then too there is no blame on you, provided what was agreed to pay is paid by you with kindness, and remain fearing Allah and know that Allah is seeing your works.(2:233).
Almighty Allah commanded man to behave well. "O believers! It is not lawful for you to be heir of the women forcibly, and prevent them not with this design that you may take away part of what you had given them as dower except in this shape that they commit an act of flagrant indecency and treat with them fairly; then if you dislike them, it is likelihood that you may dislike a thing and wherein Allah has placed much good.(4: 19)
It is necessary to establish the Quranic viewpoint with respect to the concepts of Duty and Right.
The Quranic moral code is based on the emphasis on obligation not duty in contrast to the emphasis on right. Now, the implications of the emphasis respectively on duty and right are: Right is a right against someone. Duty is a duty towards someone. Right means that someone owes something to us. For, when we say: it is our right, it means that someone has to perform a duty to us. On the contrary, when we say: it is our duty, it means that someone has a right against us.
Islam has granted to the husband a senior position in the functioning of the household and appointed him as the commander so that he could get through any crisis with the help of wisdom and initiative given to him by Almighty Allah. Islam has prescribed certain obligations that a husband has to fulfill in the interest of his wife. Simultaneously, Islam has enjoined upon the wives to appreciate their duties towards their husbands. This is a give-and-take business. Both man and woman are closely connected with each others rights and duties. 

Women Corner >> Women After Marriage - Part 1


The Institution of Marriage

The Quranic point of view with regard to the institution of marriage is based on the following principles and laws:
Interdependence of man and woman in ensuring fullness of life for each other through mutual affection, mutual confidence and mutual protection, as husband and wife has been stressed by using a metaphor of profound beauty: "They are your garments and you are their garments." (2:187)
For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran says: "And perform marriage of those among you who have not been married and of your suitable servants and hand maids. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is Ample Knowing." (24: 32)
Contrast it with the attitude of those religions, which advocate celibacy and idolize it as the ideal of perfection, considering sexual satisfaction even in the bond of marriage as a positive evil from the spiritual point of view. 
Marriage is a social contract. The word Nikah, used for marriage in the Holy Quraan, originally means Aqd. Thus, the very word Nikah implies that marriage is a social contract, and not a sacrament, although it is a sacred contract. Moreover, the Quraanic permission to terminate the relation of marriage, if it becomes absolutely impossible for the husband and the wife to continue that relation, proves that the Quraan regards marriage as a social contract only.
Women are not to be treated as property (*1). The Quraan says: "O believers! It is not lawful for you to be heir of the women forcibly." (4:19)
Marriage with persons of certain categories has been prohibited. The Holy Quraan has prohibited marriage with all those who may stand in the relations of consanguinity, or affinity, or fosterage. Almighty Allah states; "Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters and sisters and your father's sisters and mother's sisters and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your mothers who have given suck to you and your foster sisters and the mothers of your wives and daughters (your step daughters) who are in your care from the wives with whom you had intercourse but if you had not intercourse with them, then there is no harm in their daughters, and the wives of your sons who are of your loins and to have two sisters together except what has already passed. (*2).Undoubtedly. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (4: 23)

Islam has established that every marriage must be preceded by the consent of the woman who is to be married, whether she is a virgin or a woman who had a previous marriage. Her consent must be obtained before her father or the guardian can act for her in any marriage contract.
Indeed, when a marriage is conducted, the government registrar or other official or the Qaadi must satisfy himself that he has the woman's full agreement. If someone is acting for her as her guardian, the Qaadi will ask him to produce two witnesses who testify that she has authorized him to act for her in this marriage. Several Hadith tell us that a previously married woman has more authority over herself than her guardian. A virgin must be asked concerning her marriage. Her consent may be given by keeping quiet. 
The distinction here between a previously married woman and a virgin is merely in the form of how consent is granted. A virgin may be too shy to state in words that she accepts to be married, while a previously married woman has learned practically that there is nothing to be shy about in marriage.
(*3)Hadith:
Hazrat Abu Huraira رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated 
that Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said that a matron should not be given in marriage without her consent and a virgin should not be given in marriage without taking her permission. The people requested Ya Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم! How can we know the virgin consent (permission)?Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said if she keeps silence during asking then it implies her consent (indicates her permission). (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.123)

Hazrat Aisha رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated
I requested Ya Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم a virgin girl feels shy from giving her consent.Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said that her silence implies her consent. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.124)

Hazrat Abu Huraira رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated 
that Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said unmarried girl must not be married until she is not consulted and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. Blessed Companion (Sahaba) asked: Ya Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم! How virgin consent (permission) is? Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said her silence(it indicates her permission). (Sahih Muslim: Volume No.2, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.3458) 

Hazrat Aisha رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated
I asked from Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم:When a girl whose marriage is solemnised by her guardian, whether it necessary to take permission from her or not. Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلمsaid: must be consulted. Hazrat Aisha رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ said i requested: Ya Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم   she feels shy, whereupon Rasulallah  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said: Her silence implies her consent (permission). (Sahih Muslim: Volume No.2, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.3460) 

Matchmaking
After the girl attains adulthood, her parents should find a good match and marry her. During the matchmaking exercise, the parents should abstain from establishing matrimonial relations with families of wrongdoers like Wahabis , Deobandis, Shi'ites, Najadi (*4). etc. They should give the hand of their daughter into the hand of a Sunni boy who sincerely follows the Sharee'ah and the ways of the Ahle-Sunnah wa Jama'at (*5). .

Hazrat Abu Huraira رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated 
That Nabi Kareem  صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said a woman is married for four things,because of her wealth, her family status, physical look and beauty and her religion. If your hands are soiled then get religiousness. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.81)
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) added that religiousness should be given priority at the time of matchmaking. Marriage fulfills the purpose of expanding the generation. It also saves man from illicit relations with other women. Marriage (Nikkah) carries high rewards. 

Forced Marriage is not acceptable
The idea of a woman being forced into a marriage against her own wishes is not acceptable from the Islamic point of view.  

Hazrat Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated 
That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Rasulallah صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم and Rasulallah صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ والہ وسلم said that marriage invalid. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.125)

Hazrat Abdur-Rahman bin Yazid and Majammi bin Yazid رضی اللہ تعالٰی عنہ narrated 
That a man called Khidam married a daughter of his.Next the same above Hadith No.125 (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.126)  

It is often thought that because a father acts for his daughter in marriage, he can marry her to whomever he likes, without seeking her consent. People, who suggest this, make a very superficial judgment. By requiring a father or a guardian to act for the woman in her marriage, Islam emphasizes the woman's honor. Marriage in Islam is the way to establish a family, and this is conducted through families. Therefore, the woman appears to have the consent of her family to her own marriage. She does not appear as the weaker party in a civil contract.
There is no rigid process of choosing a husband. If a man proposes to a family seeking to marry one of their daughters, then he must have based his choice on either first hand knowledge or proper investigation. Similarly, if the woman's family makes the approach, then it must be based on a good knowledge of the man and his character.
As we all know, Islam does not permit the sort of free-mixing between the sexes, which is known in Western societies. If some aspects of that social mixing is practiced among certain sections of society in Muslim countries, then that is something Islam disallows. In a certain situation, a woman is able to know the character and nature of a man and she feels, on the basis of her knowledge, that he can make her a very good husband. It is perfectly conceivable that a woman can acquire such knowledge of a man, either because he is her colleague at work, or because she has had a chance to see him acting in different situations. Such knowledge would enable her to understand his character and to find out that he can be a good family man.
When a woman has known such a man and wishes to marry him, she should speak to her family about it. Her father or guardian will take over and speak to the man either directly or through intermediaries. All this is appropriate. What is not appropriate from the Islamic point of view is that the woman should try to get the man into a love relationship with her as it happens in films or in Western societies.
If a woman selects a man as her future husband and he is considered to be good for her from the social point of view, then the father is required to facilitate her marriage.

(*)[Sayyidah Hafsah bint Omar (radi Allahu anha), Sayyiduna Omar's - radi Allahu anhu daughter, became a widow when her husband, Khunais bin Huthafah (radi Allahu anhu), who was a companion of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), passed away in Madinatul Munawwara Munawwara. Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) reports: I went to Uthman bin Affaan (radi Allahu anhu) and offered him Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) saying, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) as a wife. He said, I will consider the matter. I waited for a few days, then Uthman (radi Allahu anhu) met me and said, I have considered the matter and I do not wish to be married now.
Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) goes on in his report: I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and said, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) in marriage. Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) kept quiet and gave no answer whatsoever. I felt more aggrieved with him than I was with Uthman (radi Allahu anhu). After a few days, Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) proposed to marry Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave her away in marriage to him. I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and he said, You might have felt something against me when you offered me Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave no reply. I answered in the affirmative. He said, What prevented me from answering your proposal was that I had learned that Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had expressed his wish to marry her. I am not one who reveals the Prophet's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) secret.] 

Witnesses are necessary in Nikah 

The majority of Ulama concur that a woman may not give herself away in marriage, but her guardian (as a representing Wakeel) must act on her behalf by the virtue of her permission in her Nikah to a man. Nor can she give an authority to anyone else to act for her in marriage. Moreover, a woman cannot act (as a Wakeel) for another woman in a marriage contract. (That is to say: even a mother cannot.)]
As for the person who should be her guardian for marriage purposes, there is no doubt that it is her father. If he is available, then no one else may act for her. If her father is not available, either because he is dead or mentally deranged, then her paternal grandfather or great grandfather may act for her. If she has no father or grandfather, her brother will act for her or any family elder as agreed by the family and woman.
It should be said that the condition of a guardian to act for a woman in her marriage does not detract from her the ability or the qualification to make the right choice. Indeed, any such guardian should have her consent before he goes ahead with the marriage arrangements. His presence is required not as a witness but as her representative. This is an aspect of the honorable position that Islam assigns to women. Moreover, it reflects on the seriousness with which Islam views marriage. It is a family matter, which is conducted by families. Moreover, when family represents the woman, this is more conducive to ensuring that her husband respects her rights. Besides, the nature of society Islam builds is one in which the woman normally takes her natural position, looking after the future generation. That is bound to limit her social activities a little. Her judgment of people, especially of men and their characters may, as a result, needs to be supplemented by that of other men in her family.
If a woman marries herself away without the presence of her father or appointed guardian, then her marriage is invalid because there no witnesses as required by the Sharee'ah. 
Thus we are to understand that the Sharee'ah requires one to announce Nikah either in public or in the presence of witnesses so that the Muslim society does not fall into any doubt about the legitimate relation of two individuals.
A woman, until she gets married, is called the daughter of her parents. After the marriage, she becomes somebody's wife. Now she has much more responsibilities and duties than ever. She has to fulfill additional duties towards her husband. She should be sincere and faithful to her husband and serve him with utmost dedication.